# am i being watched?



## RangerFan (Aug 14, 2008)

I have an ex who is a computer tech. He used to check out the sites his co-worker were looking at through Sonicwall. I was wondering if he could be monitoring what I am looking at on my computer now? How can I tell?


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## Elvandil (Aug 1, 2003)

Is bandwidth being used when you are not using it?

Look at all the things that are connecting:

Current Ports


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## RangerFan (Aug 14, 2008)

I know so little about computers. Is there a scan I can run or is there some other way to check?

*Also, he still lives with me in a separate are of the house. He can't get directly on my computer but can he still somehow see what I am looking at? He keeps mentioning random things to me that I have been searching for as a gift for a family member. It just seems kind of coincidental.


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## DotHQ (May 6, 2008)

Yep, he probably is. He might have it set up to remotely log into the computer from his computer. Do you share the same internet connection? 

You could go so far as to unplug the network cable from your computer when you aren't using it (kind of a hassle though). A firewall would also be a good thing, but it sounds like you'd need help setting it up.


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## RangerFan (Aug 14, 2008)

Well I have the firewall on the computer. We do share the same connection though and it is wireless. 
Any ideas at all for me??? I have a right to my privacy.


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## lotuseclat79 (Sep 12, 2003)

Hi RangerFan,

I agree with DotHQ.

You can read this article on The ABCs of securing your wireless network (3 web pages) to get your feet wet in starting to understand how to secure your wireless computer.

Where is the router located in your house from which the shared connection is being made - his area or yours?

-- Tom


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## RangerFan (Aug 14, 2008)

it is located in his office but i have access to it.


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## Mr. Newton (Aug 26, 2006)

yes you are being watched,you have to assume that,, given what you posted.
separate yourself from him electronically & physically...no sharing!!
no matter what you do,you won't be safe as long as he has access to your front door..& even then you don't know if he has set up a back door access...
get your own separate internet connection & let him get his own line .
actually you can pay to have someone come in & set you up or you can try to do it yourself,,
the wireless router is in his office,he is the tech guy,he watches his co-workers,you share his connection,,,well duh!!
but all is not lost,,,get your own separate internet line,and b4 you hook up, have your computer reformatted & windows reinstalled,assuming you have windows,,& then i recommend blink anti virus from Eeye,it has a great firewall,& is the best anti virus i have tried,to this date,
it will alert you if your computer is trying to go out to the internet & connect to another computer,,kinda like the problem you may be having now.. 
good luck )


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## jsparky77 (Jan 20, 2008)

you could also try just changing your workgroup. To do that, you right click a shortcut to My Computer and click Properties. Then, under the Computer Name tab, press Change. In the Workgroup field, change it to a different name.

Note that this mmight not do anything if he has vista but if he has any other workgroup it should stop.


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## RangerFan (Aug 14, 2008)

I have Vista and he has XP. I'll try anything at this point but how will that block him?


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## jsparky77 (Jan 20, 2008)

If you had xp and you were on the same workgroup, you would be able to see each other. But, if you were on different workgroups you will both still have access to the internet but you will not be able to see each other.

In Vista, Microsoft has fixed this so you will still be able to see him but because he is on XP he will not be able see you. I have tried this on my home personal network and it works for me although everyone in the house has access to every computer/laptop.


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## valis (Sep 24, 2004)

RangerFan said:


> it is located in his office but i have access to it.


yes, you are being watched. Move. Or get him to move. Or get a different connection to the internet that doesn't share anything with his network.


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## valis (Sep 24, 2004)

jsparky77 said:


> If you had xp and you were on the same workgroup, you would be able to see each other. But, if you were on different workgroups you will both still have access to the internet but you will not be able to see each other.
> 
> In Vista, Microsoft has fixed this so you will still be able to see him but because he is on XP he will not be able see you. I have tried this on my home personal network and it works for me although everyone in the house has access to every computer/laptop.


actually, I have a network with my xp rig and my wife's vista laptop; I had zero problems connecting to her machine from mine; I went in, set up her shared folder that backs up to my rig, then went to the laptop, entered the wireless key for her to get out, took about 4 minutes, most of which was going up and down stairs.


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## RangerFan (Aug 14, 2008)

so you are saying that you are spying in your wife???


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## valis (Sep 24, 2004)

heck no. I put a shared folder on my rig, as that is the server. That way all photos I d/l and run through my batch resizing app she can reach up to from her laptop and grab and set as her desktop, or email to whomever she wishes.

We got a 3 year old and a digital camera; I've got like, quite literally, about 6 to 7k pics of him.

What I am saying is that as long as you are _living with_ someone who is tech savvy and then are actually sharing a router with them, yes, you can consider yourself being watched. I've a friend who is engaged to a very nice lady out west; he called me about concerns that he had that she was being monitored via her wireless router, as he worked for Intel and had set it up. I told him that not only was it a possibility, it was most likely a certainty, and told them to just go buy a new router and call me when you got it and I'll walk you over the installation.

About 1 day later he showed up, furious, and demanded to know why she had done that. Luckily my friend was there, and the police were summoned post-haste. He's a bit unstable, to say the very least.

So yeah, you are being watched. Or rather, if your ex wishes to, he could quite easily, if he is tech savvy enough.


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## valis (Sep 24, 2004)

valis said:


> heck no. I put a shared folder on my rig, as that is the server. That way all photos I d/l and run through my batch resizing app she can reach up to from her laptop and grab and set as her desktop, or email to whomever she wishes.
> 
> We got a 3 year old and a digital camera; I've got like, quite literally, about 6 to 7k pics of him. Click on my profile and take a gander.
> 
> ...


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## RangerFan (Aug 14, 2008)

Oh I see. Sorry, I misunderstood!

So basically there is nothing I can do??? Is this what everyone is telling me?


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## valis (Sep 24, 2004)

Again, no. Best scenario is to move out; after that, don't share hardware with him, and get your own independent access to the web. Other than that, not much to say, except I'm sorry it didn't work out.

Is he the type of jerk who WOULD spy on you? If he is, then he most likely is watching what you do and where you go. If you are really concerned, you could also post a hjt log in the security forums to ensure that a keylogger wasn't installed. That was the first thing I had my buddy out west email me, was his HJT log, and yes indeed, there was a logger on there. But as I said, his was (and still is) an extreme case, extreme to the extent that the court ordered psychiatrist for him was found murdered. I don't think you are in the same boat there.

But I would again ask, why still live there? Get those boogey shoes on, sister, and skedaddle.


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## RangerFan (Aug 14, 2008)

oooookay, no, not that extreme 

Well we live together because we have been friends for years and I thought things were fine. But then he started mentioning things that I had been looking up as gift ideas for someone. It just seemed too coincidental to me. When he first set this laptop up for me he immediately said he liked the new Vista wallpaper and then sent it to his computer.....seemed fishy to me.


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## valis (Sep 24, 2004)

RangerFan said:


> When he first set this laptop up for me he immediately said he liked the new Vista wallpaper and then sent it to his computer.....seemed fishy to me.


there you go. there is an existing connection between the two pc's. He may not be watching over your shoulder, but he can certainly remote in and check your internet history, file and documents history, and what have you.

Do you have a firewall on your pc?


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## RangerFan (Aug 14, 2008)

yes i do. and i shut off file sharing as well. will ad aware help?


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## valis (Sep 24, 2004)

Ad Aware is simply an app that scans your pc for traces of malware. It will do nothing to stop someone from coming in.

Which firewall are you using? If you can, let it create a log file so you can see who is coming and going. And as listed in post 2 by Elvandil, current ports is an excellent app to have open while you are surfing; you can then see if he is snooping around. And obviously, when you are not at your pc, turn it off, and make sure your profile is password protected.


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## RangerFan (Aug 14, 2008)

oh boy...I am definitely not savvy enough to understand any of that. I really appreciate your help but I may be a lost cause when it comes to that stuff


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## rifter (Aug 15, 2008)

If has access and they are sharing the same router he can have access to her traffic just by sniffing the data. He wouldn't even have to intrude into her computer. Hell he could have already installed a key logger on your computer and have remote access to it. I would backup, format, get a new Internet connection and MOVE OUT. End of story.


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## mtzlplex (Aug 5, 2002)

Just a thought here, but if he really does have some form of access to your computer, then he is listening in right now, and knows you are/will be trying to circumvent the procedures he is using by coming to this forum, and asking questions. He may try to change the methods he uses because he knows you know, not to mention I can`t imagine him being a very happy camper if he is that type of person.


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## valis (Sep 24, 2004)

hah!!!!

I totally overlooked that fact......der hey......


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## Cookiegal (Aug 27, 2003)

I think it's best to close this now as we don't normally get involved in couples spying on each other. This is something you need to either break away from entirely or work it out between you.


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